Every year, it starts in October. I pin boards bursting with glittering table settings, perfectly coordinated ornaments, and cozy scenes of families glowing by twinkling trees. In my head? Total Hallmark holiday magic—gingerbread-scented air, laughter bouncing through the house, and guests marveling at my effortless festivity.
Then December hits. Reality? Boxes of decorations exploded on the floor, trees still in pieces, and lights so tangled they’re practically mocking me. The ornaments I was so excited about? Stuck in shipping limbo. My energy? As scattered as the glitter I’ll never fully vacuum.
Hello, ADHD.
For years, I didn’t realize that’s what it was. I thought I was just bad at finishing things, incapable of keeping up, and wired to fall short of my own expectations. Being diagnosed with ADHD later in life brought clarity, but it hasn’t erased the challenges. And the holidays? They amplify all of them.
Time blindness means I misjudge how long things will take, so my “plenty of time” vanishes before I even notice. Overcommitting? Second nature, because every idea sounds amazing in the moment. Add decision fatigue—decor themes, gift lists, meals—and perfectionism, and you’ve got a recipe for holiday paralysis.
ADHD paralysis is that stuck feeling where your brain freezes under the weight of too many tasks, decisions, or the pressure to get everything perfect. It’s not laziness—it’s overwhelm. To unfreeze, start small: break tasks into bite-sized steps, set a timer for 5 minutes to get going, or tackle the easiest thing first. Lower the stakes by aiming for “done” over “perfect” and use tools like visual to-do lists or a supportive buddy to stay focused. Progress, no matter how small, is still progress!
This Year, I've decided to do things differently...
First, let’s be real: it’s December 1 (as I write this), and I’m already over it. Don’t get me wrong—I love the holidays. I even unapologetically love Hallmark movies. Give me the fake snow, predictable storylines, and the “big city girl returns home to save the family Christmas tree farm and falls for the handyman.” Unrealistic? Absolutely. But that’s the point. Life is messy, so if I can escape to a world where cocoa solves everything, I’m here for it.
Meanwhile, my tree is still in pieces, half its lights refusing to cooperate like a toddler in Target. The ornaments I ordered online? Back-ordered until mid-December. And glitter? It’s everywhere, but not in a magical, sparkly way—more like “I need to vacuum before it fuses permanently into my rug." And you know what? This year, I’ve decided not to care.
I made a bold decision: I’m not posting holiday decor or festive “moments” on social media. Not because I don’t love the season, but because I’m done with the pressure. There are plenty of people who genuinely thrive on creating and sharing their holiday magic, and I love that for them. I’ll double-tap their posts all day long. But if you’re like me—someone who feels the pressure to post “or else”—here’s your permission slip: forgo the guilt and shame of "I should".
Let’s be honest: behind every polished photo is a mess someone cropped out. For me, it’s boxes I’ll probably “forget” to unpack and a vacuum abandoned mid-job. And that’s fine.
Why the Holidays Hit Hard with ADHD
The holidays are kryptonite for those of us with ADHD:
- Time Blindness: “Plenty of time” turns into December 22, and I haven’t finished started shopping.
- Impulse Spending: One garland becomes six boxes of themed ornaments and more decor for each themed room.
- Decision Fatigue: What theme? What gifts? What side dishes? It’s like a never-ending BuzzFeed quiz: “What Kind of Holiday Are You?”
- Perfectionism Paralysis: Wanting everything just right and doing nothing instead.
Let’s not even talk about the invisible expectations women take on—keeping traditions alive, decorating, baking, planning, remembering everything. Add ADHD, and it’s a cocktail of overwhelm garnished with guilt—one sip, and you’re already dizzy and feel like you're about to pass out.
How I’m Doing Things Differently
This year, I’m saying no to the chaos. Here’s my plan:
1. Make a "Nope" List
Instead of a to-do list, I’m listing things I won’t do.
- Nope: Hosting every event.
- Nope: Buying all-new decorations.
- Nope: Making Pinterest-perfect cookies unless I want to.
2. Simplify Traditions
Store-bought cookies? Great. Mismatched wrapping paper? Totally fine. Pick what feels good; skip the rest.
3. Shop with Intention not Emotion
Stick to a gift list and a budget. Also, don’t shop stressed or hungry—you’ll end up with things you don’t need.
4. Protect Your Time
Schedule downtime for yourself: a bath, a nap, or staring at your tree with a glass of wine.
5. Laugh at the Chaos
Tree lopsided? Cookies burnt? Congratulations—you’ve made memories. Nobody remembers perfect, but everyone loves a good story.
The Best Gift You Can Give Yourself
This year, I’m trading perfection for peace and comparison for connection. If your holidays don’t look like a Pinterest board, congratulations—you’re doing just fine.
So, what are you letting go of this season? Share your "Nope" List below, and let’s inspire each other to ditch the stress and embrace the joy. 🎄✨